jessicagoldharalson:

You see, there’s an ex-boyfriend.

Despite my current disdain, a memory. The image of him in a blazer and tie, brandishing a thick black flogger in a Manhattan dungeon we frequented with his friends (I’d been there before — but always to watch, never to play), seared in my mind.

I’m trying to go to sleep and I keep thinking about the feel of leather against my tits while the voyeurs watch. I’m stark naked, teetering on high heels, hands clasped with a spreader bar in the middle of the room, feeling a thousand stares.

The cool air hardening my nipples. His gloved hand over my mouth, stifling my screams.

Bliss.

(Oh crap I’ll totally delete this in the morning)

 wow.  This is insanely hot, Jessica.

Well, now you can, courtesy of me.

This hospital is still in operation, although many of its wings have been shut down and allowed to decay (as evidenced by the photos).  There is a general world-wide shift away from traditional mental health hospitals towards community care and psychiatric wards that are associated with general hospitals.  There are many very good reasons for this transition.   

I have always been fascinated by mental institutions (I’m in love with McLean hospital in MA) and have a general interest in the history of mental health care in the US and abroad.  I know this is a bit odd. 

While I was in Northern Ireland, I snuck into this hospital and took some photos.  It was strange, because so much of it was abandoned, but then I’d go through a door and see several patients playing cards or singing along to someone with a guitar, but then I’d exit through another door into an abandoned hallway.  It was very eerie and no one even once asked me what I was doing wandering the halls with a camera.  For obvious reasons, I didn’t take photos of the patients, but hopefully some of these set the scene.

This is all part of my project and I was supposed to get a guided tour, but scheduling didn’t work out, which is a blessing, I think.  If I had had a guide, I doubt I would have been allowed to take pictures, and the experience would not have been nearly as spooky and bizarre. 

If you live in California, you may have heard that UCSD is the most boring college campus in the US.  This is probably true.  But really, we’re just making up for our neighbors, SDSU.

Katrina, you make me feel better about my current condition.

I worked at an ER for a bit last year as a scribe, which meant I got to follow a doctor around for 8 or 10 hours with a tablet PC and take notes.  It was pretty much the coolest job ever, but I got a grant to go to Ireland for a couple months, so I had to quit.  On my first ever night shift, I started to phase out around 3 or 4 am.  Luckily, it was slow and the doc I was working with was really chill, so he let me proofread my charting while watching really scary movies on the scifi channel, which was the only thing keeping me awake at that point (there reaches a point where coffee just doesn’t cut it).  

I asked him how he manages to work overnight shifts on nights that are mind-numbingly slow like that (it doesn’t happen too often, but when it does, it’s torture), his answer to me was speed.  He said it without even a hint that he was joking.  I said, “you’re kidding, right?”  He didn’t even smile; he just warned me that maybe I shouldn’t tell medical schools that when I go in for interviews.  

He was a strange guy.  I really miss that job.  

Right now, I’m at home finishing my paper on the project I did in Ireland, and while Ireland was incredible, I kinda wish I would have just kept my job in the ER and not gone to Ireland so that I could be there right now, instead of here.  I know I have my entire lifetime to hang out in hospitals, and Ireland was a once in a lifetime opportunity, or whatever, but I’m having a severe case of anywhere-but-here syndrome, comorbid with a fair amount of senioritis.

And I may or may not have spent about three hours over the last couple of days updating my tumblr theme and figuring out how to add tags (I am seriously html-challenged), but that’s okay. 

I have really great music, and am enjoying spontaneous private dance moments in my living room, so it could be worse.  I mean, yeah, sure, all my friends are out at our university’s annual sun god festival, which is just about the only time half the campus emerges from the library and decides to act like normal college kids, but whatever.  

The Kills are currently playing in my living room, just for me, so life is good.